Thanksgiving: A time to celebrate family dysfunction?

Getting together for Thanksgiving may bring to mind turkey, football and of course, giving thanks.

But Thanksgiving in the USA also seems to have become a time to celebrate (and vent about) our dysfunctional families.

Read full article from USA Today
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531

Teaching Kids to Be Grateful

Thanksgiving is a great time of year to teach your kids about being thankful. As a parent, you may often feel upset because your children do not seem to show gratitude for what they have. But it is important for you to understand that appreciation is an abstract concept, especially for young children. They are not so far from being babies, who by nature are focused on their desires and needs for their survival. With your guidance, as your children grow, they can develop the ability to value what they have. It is actually beneficial for kids to be able to do this for reasons other than building their character. Acknowledging and cherishing what you have, helps children to feel fulfilled and have happier lives. It also helps your kids to to develop empathy for those who have less than they do. Here are some tips on how to teach kids to be grateful during the holiday and all year long.

Read more from Psychology Today


____ Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531

8 Reasons You Might Still Be Single

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven't found someone with whom they're truly compatible. The point of this article isn't to stereotype all single women or men or to put anyone in a box. However, for people, particularly those over 30, who are looking for answers to the puzzling question "Why am I still single?" here are some unconventional answers that lie within.

When it comes to dating and relationships, it's hard not to feel that you are a victim. After all, others can be cruel; you will get hurt, and no, it isn't always your fault. But the reality is that we hold more power over our romantic destiny than we often think. To a great degree, we create the world we live in, although we are rarely conscious of this process. We can, in fact, make a choice whether to see our fate through a victimized lens or choose to be goal-directed and take power over our lives. We benefit from focusing on what we can control and not what we can't. We can become aware of the myriad of ways we influence the reactions we get from others, even the negative reactions. So, the question for the single person looking for love is: What are the internal challenges I need to face?

See full article from Psychology Today
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531

Ten Steps to Unconditional Love

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well” -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

We all know that children require unconditional love to thrive. But how many of us feel capable of giving it? We can't, quite simply, give something we don't have inside. Loving your child starts with loving yourself.

So if you didn’t have a perfect childhood, if you're more cranky than compassionate, should you just give up on being a good parent? No. Research shows that we can always grow inside, to become more loving to ourselves and others. In fact, the fastest path to stretching our hearts is parenting, because our love for our child motivates us to grow. (You sacrifice and work harder for your child than for your own well-being, right?)

It takes work, but the good news is that as our hearts get bigger, we’re not just better parents. We’re happier people.

Healing your ability to love takes daily attention and commitment, but it's quite do-able. Think of it like playing the piano. In the beginning, a scale is an effort. But in a year, you can play a sonata. Here's how.

Read full article from Psychology Today

____ Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531

Why Introverts and Extroverts Attract Each Other

Finding someone like yourself may not be such a good idea.

Introverts and extroverts  have opposite—we prefer to call it “complementary”—means of dealing with stress and meeting their emotional needs. Introverts tend to be self-reflective and seek out spaces where they can access their inner experiences freely. Extroverts on the other hand are predisposed to seek out others with whom they can engage and find the answers to their questions in the dialogue that the interactive process provides. It might seem counter-intuitive for these two very different personality types to get together, but it actually makes perfect sense from a relationship standpoint. 

Read full article from Psychology Today

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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531

12 Lessons From The First Year Of Marriage

This article was published this week on The Huffington Post.

Whether your first year of marriage was a walk in the park or a test of your relationship, there is no doubt that those first 12 months were a learning experience.

Over the weekend, we asked our readers to tell us the most important thing they learned during their first year of marriage. Check out what they had to say below.

Read full article from The Huffington Post








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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531