Can romantic love transport us back to babyhood bliss?
“O flatter me, for love delights in praises.” ~ Shakespeare, The Two Gentlemen of Verona
The above line provides a kind of paradoxical “antidote” for a more recent quote from Oscar Wilde’s comedy of manners, The Importance of Being Earnest. In this 1894 satiric play Wilde has a character intriguingly state: “The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” Assuming that this counter-intuitive perspective is on target, what might be one of the most effective ways to reduce lovers’ doubts—even though, ironically, these doubts might yet be intrinsic to their romance? What might help enamored partners assure themselves they were every bit as loved as they were loving? That their ever-growing—almost overwhelming—emotional commitment was shared?
When one is in love, nothing could make the lover happier than to feel secure about the other person’s returning that love: That the inflamed—and frankly obsessive—feelings about the object of their passion are in fact reciprocal. If love does in fact “delight in praises,” it is through this flattery that both parties can be encouraged and reassured that their relationship is exceptional, extraordinary, unique.
Read full article from Psychology Today
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
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