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| Credit: Psychology Today |
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
How To Love Unconditionally When You're Angry
Loving unconditionally is "Win-Win" parenting. That's because not acting on your anger creates more
space for love. And where there is more love, there is always more room for miracles.
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
How Healthy Are On-Again/Off-Again Relationships?
What do we really know about on-again/off-again relationships? Why do people break-up, make-up, and then break-up and make-up again? Can repeated separations and reunions be healthy?
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
How to Say Something Nice
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love
Almost every one of us can relate to at least a couple of the ways we defend ourselves, self-protect and self-sabotage when it comes to love. In my previous blog, I explored why we do this. Here, I will address what we can do about it. How can we overcome our fears of intimacy to find and maintain the love we so desire?
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
The Stepparent Waltz
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
The Language of Respect with Teenagers
What does it mean to build respect between adults and teenagers? Respect means we have high regard or admiration for another’s views and feelings. We value their abilities and inner qualities.
Sadly, many of today’s teens feel undervalued and misjudged by adults. Could our language be part of the problem?
A teenager recently wrote to me, saying “I understand teens have issues… I am a teen. I get these things….I hate it when people generalize that teens love experimenting with drugs and sex and other risks and that we are ‘little sponges’ soaking up social norms that we must counteract. How are happy teenagers supposed to feel? Should they feel strange because they don’t take part in what other teenagers do?”
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
Sadly, many of today’s teens feel undervalued and misjudged by adults. Could our language be part of the problem?
A teenager recently wrote to me, saying “I understand teens have issues… I am a teen. I get these things….I hate it when people generalize that teens love experimenting with drugs and sex and other risks and that we are ‘little sponges’ soaking up social norms that we must counteract. How are happy teenagers supposed to feel? Should they feel strange because they don’t take part in what other teenagers do?”
Read full story
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
Resolutions for Divorced Parents
Dear Kids,
Because we both love you, these are our New Year's Resolutions for divorced parents:
We won't forget the profoundly unfair truth that this divorce -- which you didn't choose, don't deserve and have no power to stop -- has hit you hardest of all. You're the ones who have to schlep back and forth between homes, and you have the right to express outrage -- free from worry that we'll become hurt, defensive or angry.
We know you hate it when we don't give you a say over your own lives, and we know that the schedule we designed when you were four might not work when you're fourteen. So we'll listen with open minds and accommodate your wishes when we can.
If a time comes when you want to spend more time with one of us, we won't assume it means you love the other less, or are running to the more permissive parent. Your needs for closeness and distance will shift between us as you grow up -- that's normal.
When you remind us of each other, we won't react with reflexive disgust. Comments like, "Ew! You look just like your mother in those sunglasses!" or, "Please, that laugh... it's like your father is in the room!" are painful attacks on you.
We won't treat you like burdensome objects to be lugged around. When we growl things at each other like, "Hey, pick-up was at two! Now I'm late for Pilates!" it makes you feel like a junky couch we left on the curb for the Salvation Army.
We won't scrub the house of evidence of each other like it's suddenly a hazmat zone. We'll duplicate photo albums so you'll have them in both places, and if you want our wedding portrait in your room we'll cheerfully supply it.
We won't criticize each other in your presence. And we'll remember that rolling our eyes counts and that you overhear about ninety-five percent of our phone conversations.
Read full story here
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Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
Because we both love you, these are our New Year's Resolutions for divorced parents:
We won't forget the profoundly unfair truth that this divorce -- which you didn't choose, don't deserve and have no power to stop -- has hit you hardest of all. You're the ones who have to schlep back and forth between homes, and you have the right to express outrage -- free from worry that we'll become hurt, defensive or angry.
We know you hate it when we don't give you a say over your own lives, and we know that the schedule we designed when you were four might not work when you're fourteen. So we'll listen with open minds and accommodate your wishes when we can.
If a time comes when you want to spend more time with one of us, we won't assume it means you love the other less, or are running to the more permissive parent. Your needs for closeness and distance will shift between us as you grow up -- that's normal.
When you remind us of each other, we won't react with reflexive disgust. Comments like, "Ew! You look just like your mother in those sunglasses!" or, "Please, that laugh... it's like your father is in the room!" are painful attacks on you.
We won't treat you like burdensome objects to be lugged around. When we growl things at each other like, "Hey, pick-up was at two! Now I'm late for Pilates!" it makes you feel like a junky couch we left on the curb for the Salvation Army.
We won't scrub the house of evidence of each other like it's suddenly a hazmat zone. We'll duplicate photo albums so you'll have them in both places, and if you want our wedding portrait in your room we'll cheerfully supply it.
We won't criticize each other in your presence. And we'll remember that rolling our eyes counts and that you overhear about ninety-five percent of our phone conversations.
Read full story here
____
Victoria Ehmen MA LMFT is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist in Volusia County for 22 years . (386) 253-2531
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